In the Navy...

My first clue that today was extra special (or "specious" as Gina and I like to say after seeing the word miss-printed so many times across Asia) was at the grocery store in super hip Hong Kong (right next to our super CRUMMY overpriced hostel).

I was obliviously buying an apple and some milk, when I realized that all the checkers were plastered in stickers. Mostly, they were in Chinese, but I recognized the Olympic rings, the Beijing games logo...and flames. It sparked my curiosity - and spark it was indeed: One sticker featured the torch with 5.2.2008.

Out of the Hu Jintao and predecessors-imposed government block of news information, Gina found a newspaper in English.

Lucky us! Torch relay was coming through Hong Kong on this very day!
Unluckily for me, I am still a lot shorter than lots of Chinese.
This is the torch passing:





This is the police carting away a Western protester with "Free Tibet" written across his face. Also in the unlucky cards I've been handed: slow reflexes.



As we continued to walk, emersed in the joyous spirit, ceremoniously waving our Samsung-sponsored free flags, we ourselves were flagged down in HK's port-side party district, Wan Chai. The US Navy was spending their last night in town, and a throng of sailors sensed our shared Yankee-ness as we paraded past their own spirit-filled refuge from the USS Kittyhawk.

The following is a collection of fun facts that, over a span of 7 hours, Gina and I collected from our new Naval friends and the hippie-haired Chinese bartender.

In no preferential order:

1. The USS Kittyhawk, based in Japan, will return to the states shortly and be completely MELTED into a huge chunk of steel. Or it might go to North Carolina to hang with it's winged namesake. Nobody is really sure on this one.

2. Nobody really likes being in the NAVY...but shhhh...don't tell anyone that a majority of these guys want to pack it in for Canada. It's really quite sad; from the complaining about their barracks, to the bemoaning of our government officials that wouldn't let them retire, to the simple fact that they can't watch CNN. They weren't even allowed to go to the torch passing. Could be trouble.

3. Speaking of trouble, the Navy has a faction of "moral compasses" called the S.L.G. (Shore Leave Guard). They patrol the party areas when the ship has docked, all night long, to make sure everyone actually gets back on the boat. They have to wear these really dorky polo shirts with a giant S.L.G. so even the drunkest of the drunken sailors can find a "safe ride" to the carrier. I had the best time talking with the polo shirted enlisted men and it became a fun game to see if I could make their evening any better, seeing as they had to hang at the bar without drinking. There were MULTITUDES of them walking around, which became even funnier.

"Soo....S.L.G., huh? Selling lovely Guavas? Single, Lonely Guy? Sore Ligaments Galore?" It was JoAnne dorky flirting at my best effort. The similarly dorky Navy guys thought this was funny, the daft ones didn't get it and very seriously explained to me the importance of their assigned duty.

4. An S.L.G. polo gets washed by ONE guy whose SOLE duty is to wash all of the S.L.G. polos. That's all he does. On an aircraft carrier. All day long.

5. There are over 29,000 Chinese characters in their alphabet. Or something like that. Pictured is the difference between "Human being" and "Human being in jail".



6. Most likely, the woman who spoke no English but taught me how to correctly say "The fire is burning my eyebrows" on the train from Xi'an to Guangzhou, probably also liked to pet my arm hair because A1. It's ridiculously furry. and B2. I guess not a lot of northern Chinese women can grow hair on their arms. This was the bartender's best guess.

Six of my deepest, pressing questions: answered. What more is there? Life's mysteries unveiled. Guess it really is time to come home.